Thoughts on today.
When the new year came around I decided I was going to give up something big for God, I was going to give up my biggest addiction which not many people know about. I decided that God was bigger than my addiction and I truly believe this. A lot of my coworkers decided that they were going to give up various addictions for the new year as well. I have seen all of the them fall. Every single one has given up. I know that I will not give in. But this morning I gave in. I felt terrible. I think that anyone in my situation would too. But some how, I can’t even explain it, there is a peace. God isn’t mad at me. I don’t know how I know, but I just know. There isn’t anything that I know of in the Bible about this, but I know it is truth. Right now, I feel so good. I’m loving this day. It isn’t full of forgiveness like I would expect. I don’t know if it is anti-Christian to say this, but it almost feels like God doesn’t even care that I fell. The only explanation I have for this is that maybe I didn’t fall. Maybe I didn’t really give into my old addiction. I had always heard that when you give into your old self, you are denying your new identity in Christ. Because of today, I am rethinking this. This might not be wholly true. There is definitely truth in that statement but how does that explain this morning? I think it is that God doesn’t know about my old self. He only knows my new self!!! That is such good news! Of course I’m not going to indulge in every old habit, but God’s love became so real to me today! Dear God, You are beyond holy. I love being your child and I love that you call me that. Thank you for allowing me to grow in You. It is the most exhilarating adventure that any kid like me could imagine. You have blessed my life with so many awesome people and there is such beauty in each of them. It is so awesome to catch glimpses of You in other people. I don’t know what my future holds Lord, but whatever You hold in store for me is okay as long as I’m with You.
